Like Before
by Chibi StarLyte
Summary: Haruka missing swimming with Makoto.


Among the fics I posted to AO3 and forgot to cross-post here, this is one of them.

I wrote this shortly after the episode in DttF when Makoto had his race with Hiyori. Just some word-vomity stuff I had to get out of my system. XD

Enjoy!

* * *

Haruka misses swimming with Makoto.

He realizes this one night, long after practice has ended-long after his own personal practice time has come to a close and he's merely floating along the water's surface, like he always does when he's got something on his mind. He gazes up, but isn't really looking at anything, just watches phantoms of the past dance across his unfocused vision.

 _"Everyone who swims with you ends up suffering somehow, huh?"_

Hiyori's words stick in his skin like shards of broken glass, burying themselves deep in his nerves until his entire being throbs in pain. The bespectacled swimmer is right, after all. His swimming had hurt Rin in the past-more than once-and nearly destroyed their friendship. And all this with Ikuya…

Hell, his swimming had even hurt Makoto, of all people. The last person in the entire world he would ever want to hurt.

Haruka wrenches his eyes shut as thoughts of his best friend cross his mind. Sucking in a deep breath, he submerges himself in the chlorine water and dives down to the bottom of the pool. He weaves gracefully through the water, swimming in whatever motion his limbs decide without any actual input from his brain. Not that it would have helped a whole lot-he's too focused on Makoto to think about much else.

He shouldn't have been surprised that Makoto stepped up and took Hiyori's challenge, but seeing his best friend's determined glare still shook Haru to the core. He's only ever seen Makoto like that a handful of times since they met.

The second Makoto was in the water, Haruka had been transfixed. Watching Makoto swim again, watching him in his signature stroke, propelling forward with all his might, like all those times back then when they swam together…

Seeing those green eyes alight with such a fire, such an angry passion, makes Haru wish that he was actually someone worth defending.

But he's hurt nearly everyone who has dared to get close to him.

He resurfaces with a gasp in the middle of the pool, shaking the droplets of water from his raven hair. Letting out a deep sigh, Haru sinks back down into the water before elongating his body to float along the surface once more, his eyes closed as if in sleep. Lazily, he rotates his arm backwards, then the other, his hands cutting through the water and sending him forward.

He prefers freestyle above all else, but in this moment…maybe, just maybe, trying the backstroke will help him feel closer to Makoto again. It's not the same as swimming with him, but it's something. It helps him fill bits of the Makoto-sized hole in his heart.

As he swims, he hears the telltale echo of a door being opened at the end of the pool hall, followed by the steady sound of footsteps on the tiled floor. Haruka rights himself in the water, standing up and searching in the direction of the noise. Who would be here this late? Everyone on the team has already gone home by now.

His breath hitches as Makoto comes into view.

Though he's wearing his usual warm smile, he looks tired. It's in the slight pinched expression on his angular face, in the set of his broad shoulders that barely support his backpack strap. It's in the way the hem of his shirt hikes up on his hip, wrinkled and bunched. It's in the way he slightly favors one leg as he stands still, watching Haruka bob towards him.

"Hey, Haru-chan," he says quietly, tilting his head.

Haruka wants to scowl, but can't bring himself to do it. Not tonight. "Drop the -chan," he mutters out of habit, stopping at the edge of the pool and glancing up at Makoto through raven fringe.

Makoto lets his backpack slide off his shoulder and land with a gentle thud on the floor. He steps to the edge of the pool and extends his long arm, his warm and welcoming hand waiting for Haru to take it. The tired yet serene smile is still on his face.

How can Makoto look at him like that? Like Haruka isn't some terrible person who causes his friends nothing but pain? Like he didn't lose a race to Hiyori just days ago, like he never lost to Haruka in the 200-meter freestyle a year ago, like they were still in elementary school and he was just ecstatic to be able to swim with Haruka?

Reaching out from the water, Haruka takes Makoto's hand. Makoto doesn't move to pull him out just yet, and Haruka makes no move to hoist himself out of the pool. He just stares up at the brunet, blue eyes studying his face.

Makoto tilts his head just so, silently questioning Haruka's hesitance. A couple seconds later, before he could convince himself otherwise, Haruka tightens his grip on Makoto's hand and pulls.

It's just like some weeks ago, when Haruka pulled Makoto into the pool with him in the same manner. This time, however, Makoto is still fully clothed.

There's a flash of surprise across Makoto's face as he tips forward, bracing himself to hit the water. Haruka lets Makoto fall onto him to soften the landing, his strong muscles supporting his larger friend as he splashes into the pool.

With a slight sputter, Makoto surfaces and shakes the water from his hair. "Haru! What was that for?!" He doesn't look annoyed, more confused than anything at Haruka's actions. Haruka can't blame him, either, because he certainly is acting strangely, even by his own standards.

Without giving a direct answer, Haruka floats backwards and nervously glances down at his feet that are distorted by the water. "Swim with me?" he asks, keeping his expression as neutral as possible as he looks at Makoto.

It takes a moment, but a smile that could rival the sun in its intensity makes its way onto Makoto's mouth and lights up his entire face. Yes, this is the Makoto that Haruka likes best-while seeing his friend's passion in his eyes is invigorating, seeing Makoto smile at him _like that_ is nothing short of breathtaking.

"Okay," Makoto agrees easily, much more easily than Haruka anticipates. He watches as Makoto peels off his soaking tee shirt, revealing his toned muscles in the low light of the pool hall. The shirt goes flying, landing with a wet flop on the tile surrounding the pool. Next, Makoto works on getting his shoes off, which proves to be slightly more difficult. Haruka floats over and guides Makoto's legs to the surface, pulling off his trainers and socks and haphazardly tossing them over by the discarded shirt.

Makoto gives Haruka a sweet smile in thanks and leans back into the water, floating on his back so he can look up at the ceiling.

Haruka dips under the water and swims underneath his friend, resurfacing on the other side of Makoto and mimicking his floating position. Haruka brushes his hand against Makoto's, trying to decide if he wants to take the plunge and actually, properly, hold his hand. Makoto decides for the both of them, intertwining their fingers just below the water's surface. The action brings the barest hint of a smile to Haruka's face and he closes his eyes like before, floating peacefully with Makoto's steady, comforting presence at his side.

"I miss this," he says on the breadth of a happy sigh.

Makoto's fingers tighten around his hand ever so slightly. "Miss what, Haru?"

Haruka's blue eyes slide open and he turns his head to look at Makoto, noting how his green eyes seem to glow in the dim light as Makoto turns to look right back at him. "Swimming with you," he answers simply, hoping beyond hope that Makoto will understand everything he's trying to say with just those three words.

A slight flush dusts the tops of Makoto's cheeks as he smiles somewhat bashfully. He gazes back up, the corners of his eyes squinting a bit. He still looks tired, but peaceful. "I miss it, too."

Haruka feels something warm and heavy settle into his chest just then, almost overwhelming enough to steal his breath away. The Makoto-sized hole that had been gaping earlier is now filled to the brim, threatening to overflow. Even after everything, Makoto misses swimming with him, too. And for them, swimming has _always_ meant more than just swimming and it's no different now.

Feeling emboldened by this feeling, Haruka touches his feet to the bottom of the pool and stands. He pulls Makoto towards him and the taller boy does the same, towering over him with his head tilted in slight bemusement. Their hands remain joined, as if that's their natural state. Has always been their natural state.

"Haru?"

The simple utterance of his name is enough to push Haruka to the edge, and with reckless abandon he pulls Makoto down for a kiss.

It's a millisecond and an eternity, too much and not enough, all at once. Haruka feels rather than hears Makoto inhale sharply through his nose before he returns the kiss with just as much fervor. His large hand tangles in the back of Haruka's soaking hair. Haruka finds his fingers trailing Makoto's angular jaw. Finally they break apart for breath, and Haruka wants nothing more than to dive right back in.

"H-Haru…" Makoto says breathlessly, touching their foreheads together as his warm breath caresses Haruka's already damp skin.

Blue eyes bore into green. Haruka brings his other hand up and cups Makoto's beautiful flushed face, bringing their lips but a breath apart. "Swim with me...always," he says before kissing Makoto again.


End file.
